He has Risen!!

Most people today are celebrating the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Growing up in a christian home, this day has always been important to our family, but this year is different. I am so blessed and so grateful that Christ defeated death, so that one day I can return home with my Heavenly Father. This year, it is more powerful. Because of what Christ has done, I know this life is not all there is. When we said goodbye to Jacob, it was not so much a "goodbye", as much as a "see you later".  I know that one day soon I will see my son again. I will get to hold him in my arms, and together we can praise the One True God. I have always been thankful for what Christ has done, but remembering it today is extra special. I KNOW I will see baby Jacob again, and that gives me great peace in this life. It is not over! God is at work here, and before long we will all be reunited with Him. Praise be to the God Most High! Happy Easter Everyone. I pray you find strength and peace through Him.

Dr. Appointments

This week has been full of doctor appointments. On Wednesday we went to see the GI doctor for her reflux. While I wish I could say we took her off of her medication, we decided to keep her on both the prilosec and carafate. Most babies outgrow reflux by the age of 6 months, so we decided to wait until then instead of risking her backsliding with her feeds because of pain. We go back to see Dr. Rangwalla in another month to adjust medication again.

On Thursday, we went for a full evaluation. Juliet saw a physical therapist, occupational therapist,speech therapist, high risk pediatrician  and dietitian  Since she was born so early, we knew there was a high risk of her needing a lot of therapy in order to develop correctly. Most muscle is not developed until after 28 weeks, so all of her muscle was developed in a different environment than it should have developed in. It is only a miracle from God that our little girl is in need of NO THERAPY!!!!! There are a few things at home we are asked to do to help her muscle tone, but we do not need a therapist to come and see her. (We were told to expect a PT or OT to come 3-5 days a week until the age of 2). This is a blessing for our family as well as our bank account! The high risk pediatrician and dietitian were very pleased with her weight gain as well! For her adjusted age (meaning the age she should be had she been born on her due date), she is in the 50 percentile for both length and weight! This means she is the average size! Our little one pound baby is doing so wonderful. They both said to me that if they did not see her chart in front of them, they would never have guessed she was born so early. We will be visiting them once a month as well until she is two just to make sure she is staying on the right track. God has been faithful to us!  We look forward to watching our little girl grow and be a source of proof that statistics are not right, and God knows what He is doing!

Visitors

It feels like it has taken forever, but we are slowly having visitors to see our little girl! We feel so blessed to have so many people loving on our little girl. This past week, our pastor and his wife came by to see her and pray with us over our little girl. What a blessing! Thank you Peter and Lisa! We look forward to the days ahead with everyone playing a part in her walk with our Heavenly Father!

RSV is Over!

I got the call yesterday that I have been waiting for patiently! RSV season is officially over here in Austin, TX. This is huge for our family as RSV was the main reason Juliet was house bound. We are now allowed to slowly start bringing her out of the house and around other people. (Given they are healthy) She made her first trip last night to our community group with our church. These are people who have been in prayer over her since the day we announced we were pregnant. It is such a joy to finally be able to introduce her to everyone who has loved on us and prayed so hard for her. I was talking to a dear friend at church the day she was coming home about the time I could finally introduce her to everyone. I know my daughter is a miracle. But to hear someone else say how much they were looking forward to seeing her and touching her, because it will be touching a miracle: that is so humbling. It makes my heart rejoice to know that others see her for the gift she is. I am beyond excited to finally share more than just pictures. Thank you Lord for providing health and safety for our little peanut. We praise you for your faithfulness and love in our lives!

ST. Patrick's Day

Our first holiday at home! I am so excited to finally celebrate a holiday at home with our little peanut. (And icing on the cake: It's my favorite holiday!) So I hope everyone enjoyed their St. Patrick's Day! I know it will be one I never forget!

Dear NICU

Dear NICU
Where do I begin? You have been part of my life for the past 4 months, and now it is over. I will admit  i hated you at first! I didn't want to be there, but I knew if I couldn't take care of my babies, they were better off with you. I hated the wheelchair ride from my room to you. I hated having to scrub in every time. I hated that I could not hold my babies. But I soon realized you were a friend. A shoulder to cry on when things went bad, and a smile to share when things went well. I began to know you. Each and every one of you. From nurses, to doctors, to RT, OT, and ST and of course the front desk clerks. I knew you all by name, and by the time we left, I could pick our each of your voices in a crowd.
To the Doctors:
Thank you! I could not have asked for a better group of professionals taking care of my children. From Dr. Breed and Dr. Sue who came and talked to my husband and I while I was on bed rest.  To Dr. Kinstra, who delivered my precious babies. To all doctors who watched Juliet grow and encouraged her and us. To Dr. Wheatly who was there the day we came home. To Dr. McCormick who was there when we said goodbye to Jacob. Thank you all! I look back and cannot imagine what our journey would have been like had you all not played a part in it. You will always be a part of Juliet's story, and I truly thank you all so very much for caring for my babies when I was not able.

To the RTs, OTs, and STs:
You all are so important to me! Thank you for keeping her oxygen at the right level and helping get her switched over from one machine to the next. I still remember the first picture I got of Juliet without anything on her face was when you were all working to change her from CPAP to cannula. It was just a brief moment in time, but it gave me hope of what would be coming one day when she was no longer hooked up to anything. To Lisa for all the therapy you did with her every week. Helping her develop those muscles that she was not able to before. Helping her get stronger so she could one day come home. To Tahra, for working so hard with me and Juliet to get her eating! Knowing when to push her, and when to pull back. Keeping her from falling off that side of bottle aversion  (She is eating like a champ now, by the way!) Thank you! I look back and I am so glad I formed friendships with each and every one of you!
To the front desk clerks:
Thank you all for the wonderful conversations while I waited to wash in. Thank you for keeping an eye out on me and making sure I was eating and sleeping. It is weird to not see you every day. Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, and being a part of our journey.
To the Nurses:

 Just thinking about writing this is bringing tears to my eyes. You are family to me now. You took care of my babies when I was not able to. You saved Juliet's life numerous times. I remember the first time I touched my son was because Heidi told me I needed to touch him, for him and me. I remember looking in Amy's eyes the day we said goodbye to Jacob, and seeing the pain in my eyes echoed in yours. I remember seeing the joy in Priscilla's eyes the day Juliet came off the cannula. I remember countless days talking to Tara and Lucy and Amy and Priscilla as I sat and held my baby girl. And then there was Christmas Eve when Bonnie helped me get pictures of her in her stocking. To Gladys, for having the perfect hold! She is not just my daughter, she is your child too! I saw how much you all cared for her, and us. I thank you from my soul, for what you did for me and my family. Encouraging us, sharing in our excitement, and our sorrow. Thank you for being Juliet's advocate when I was not able to be there. Thank you for the late nights when you bathed her, and held her tight. Thank you for feeding her, and changing her diapers. Those things that are a mothers job. Thank you! She will know how much you all mean to me. I tell her daily how awesome you all are! I look forward to a day when she can meet you again, and get to know you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I cannot said it enough! I love you all and please keep in touch! -Shelly (Mama Phillips)

Happy 4 Months Jake and Juju

Today the twins are four months old! I cannot believe how fast time has gone by. We are so thrilled to have Juliet home to share this day with her outside of the hospital. Months 1-3 were scary, heartbreaking, but also exciting. We know month 4 will bring many more blessings as Juliet continues to improve and show us her personality. It will also be heartbreaking. As we watch our daughter hit milestones, we will always long for her brother to be here with us. There are so many milestones we missed with Jacob, but watching Juliet thrive will always be a reminder of what her big brother did for her. He many not be here physically, but we will always remember our little fighter. He will be watching over his sister always. We miss you angle!

119 Days Later

Juliet is home! One hundred nineteen days after a scary delivery, we finally brought our little miracle home. Sunday was a wonderful day with lots of new beginning. First time she was outside, first time to ride in a car, first time seeing our house, and the first time she met her brothers and sister. But there were a lot of lasts too. The last time I sat and fed her in that chair by her bed. The last time I watched her monitors as they reassured me she was finally ok. The last time I scrubbed up, and walked past all those beds with babies. The final goodbyes from doctors, nurses, RT and fellow NICU moms. Juliet is adjusting well to the crazy life away from the hospital. We have waited for this day, and now that it is here, I cannot believe it. God has answered so many prayers throughout this journey, and is proving himself faithful every day. I know Juliet testimony will be a glorious one. But for now, we are just glad to have our baby girl home with us. Now the real work begins....

Grandpa

Three years ago, on February 28th, heaven gained a father, grandfather, husband and friend. He taught my husband, Brett what it meant to be loyal and loving. He taught Brett to work hard for what you want, and to use his mind in everything he did. He taught him to protect his family, and be a source of comfort and strength when someone needed him. He sacrificed for his family, and never put himself first. And I know when Jacob got to heavens gates, he was greeted by that man and "well done Son" I know my father in law is proud of my son, for Jacob's sole purpose here was a selfless one. He was called to bring is sister here to us. Today, I can see him sitting up there telling Jacob stories of his mom and dad. Enjoying time together as they patiently wait for us to join them. I miss my father-in-law, and I miss my son, but knowing they are together and waiting for me is a wonderful feeling. I will join them one day, in a place where there is no pain. Joining in Praise to the God of all! But until then, I ache. I cry for the loss I feel in my heart. Thank you Dad for raising the man who I could not get through this crazy life without. I am forever thankful. Enjoy time with your grandson, and I will see you again some day.