The First 24 Hours

Jacob Bradley Phillips was born first at 1:18pm. He was 1lb 11oz, 12 inches long. Juliet Marie Phillips was born at 1:19pm. She weighted 1lb 13oz, 13 inches long. They were both taken to the NICU immediately and put on the high frequency oscillating vent, which breathed for them. Both the babies were stable when I saw them for the first time at 4pm. Unfortunately, that did not last. They both had premature lungs and need medication along with the vent to help the lungs stay open. Juliet began to slowly improve while Jacob was just barely hanging on. Things only got harder for Jacob as time went on. After 12 hours of life, he ripped a hole in his lung and it collapsed completely, even with the help of the vent. His oxygen saturation was dropping slowly. We were beginning to get into the range of brain damage from the lack of oxygen. Then, at 30 hours old, we were told he had a level 4 brain bleed. This is the worst kind and almost certain life long brain damage. His body started to shut itself down. At this point, Brett and I had to make a choice. We could keep him alive, but there was no chance he would ever come off the vent, or we could pull him off now, and get the chance to hold our baby boy before he left this world. As hard of a choice as it was to make, Brett and I knew what we had to do. Thursday November 8th, we watched as the nurse and doctor slowly unhooked our precious baby boy from the vent, and I held my son for the first time. He was so prefect laying in my arms. He was made to fit in my arms. He never took another breath. Brett and I got to hold our baby for the first and last time. Our pastor came and said a prayer with us as we held the body of our son who had already left this world. I kissed my son on the forehead, and said goodbye.